go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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