I think I died a long time ago.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
