In the future we'll all be gay
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
