508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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