We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
