Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
