I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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