porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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