At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
