Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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