Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
