Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i out mim tonsoeep
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