I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
