You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
