But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
