nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
