i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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