k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
