some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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