he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's blow job season.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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