I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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