and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
