I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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