Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
where does the pee come out of this thing
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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