she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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