This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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