isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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