dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
