It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
