booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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