Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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