3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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