whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
