I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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