Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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