Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
