She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
