It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
