Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
