twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
