we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
