I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
