Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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