No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
