I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
