ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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