whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
