you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
