Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
zippers are such a cool invention
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
