You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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