So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
